MY POETRY

I find poetry a good way of releasing one's inner turmoils/thoughts. I love writing, and have recently had some really positive news from a publisher. Whilst I can't share that, I thought I would include some of my own poetry here. Some rhymes, some doesn't... The first two, are the heaviest, please feel free to skip through & leave comments if you wish.
P.S I have neither grey hair, nor wrinkles, and certainly hope I don't have grandchildren (older and desolate winter) I was just imagining the future.

I Am

I feel pain just as much as you; I may not shout about it, I do not burden you with it, like you do with me, I swallow it down, smile and pretend it's not there,
But it is just as real; it makes me tremble and shiver under it's grip,
I feel the overwhelming grip of despair, as I succumb, falling under, almost choking on the strangle hold it has over me, unable to call out as the words die in my throat,
But although the pain is as crippling as yours, I do not inflict it on you, I do not use you as if an aspirin, hurting you to relieve my suffering
My pain may be less than hers, or more than his, but it is mine; I cannot feel your pain, nor you mine, it is ours to feel alone

I bruise just like you. I do not display the purple and yellow-blotched skin in the way of human peacocks, intoxicated with the adrenaline of fighting
I do not have the shiny, silvery streaks in my milky white skin that show where sharp metal, ferociously slashed both skin and sinew, flashing silver light followed by by deep red splashes as the cold, hard metal beat softer organic matter
My bruising is invisible to the eye; like an apple whose perfect exterior belies a soft, mushy flesh
My bruising begins just below the skins surface, slowly growing inwardly, rotting towards my heart
My flesh begins to turn mushy, the hardness melts away... the bruise overtakes all in its wake
But to the outside it is unseen: a flaw of the human eye that not all bruises are invisible

I am not a warrior, standing proud in the battlefield, sword held aloft, the bodies of my fallen enemies at my feet, the smell of victory in my nostrils
I am not a Gladiator riding a chariot; sweat pouring off me, adrenaline coursing through my veins, making me feel vibrant with life
I am an ant, invisible in the throng of life, one cog in the wheel, one life that is very ordinary
I am a bee, existing just because it does not know what else to do. Every breath, every heartbeat, just an autonomic function. Every thought, unbidden

I am not the wing beneath your wings; I do not lift you up, or pull you down
I am just me
I am

Goodbye

Away my feet softly go
The path I have travelled is now invisible
The tracks of time covering my footfalls
My existence lost to the world

The agony of leaving you bears heavy in my heart
The memory of our life imprinted on my brain
Every laugh, every tear, every touch, every kiss
Fills me with a longing, for a past forever lost

I hear you calling to me, but cannot reply
Your cries of despair, so mournful, must remain unanswered
I cannot wipe the tears from your eyes, for now they must remain obscured
Until time erases them, and plants a smile on your face

You must face the world alone now; I can no longer protect you
The path you choose, must be walked alone
The problems you face must be solved by you
I cannot help, nor cry, nor answer you

Forever I will be in your heart, though my physical entity has ceased
No longer does my heart beat
No more deep breaths of air, will my hungry lungs consume
I am but a memory, an imprint on the fabric of life
My stain is fading, but will never completely go

You my love are life
You must suck in air
Your heart must continue to beat
You must continue to dream, feel pain, be happy and sad
For you are life, and I am just a ghost

Older

Each line on my face, every wrinkle tells a story
I wear them with pride, my own badge of glory
Joy, pain, despair and sorrow
There is no shame in the path I chose to follow

Grey hair I cherish you, the bane of the others
You sprout from my body, clinging like old lovers
I won't cover you up, hide you from sight
You are a thing of such beauty, all silver and white

I am a wise old owl, not cluttered with 'stuff'
Unlike the young, I take the smooth with the rough
I know my own mind, I know where I'm going
And, never get distracted by wild oats that need sowing

Change places with a teenager...? No way!
I like 'real' music, not the noise that they play
Computers, Gameboys?? - I prefer a good book
If I want cyberspace, it's to the night sky I look

I am like a tree, all gnarled and knotted
But not invisible... my wisdom is spotted
And when the grand kids come to stay
I regale them with stories, of back in 'my day'

Tree

Wind; my most vicious and fatal enemy
My Achilles Heel, the thorn in my side, the itch I can't scratch, is approaching faster and faster

Coming from the arctic north, it takes no hostages as it devours all in its wake

I stand tall and firm, my roots solidly in the ground, awaiting its onslaught
The tree around me rustle as the tendrils approach; like an invisible black shroud
Fingers reaching our, gently caressing, before going for the kill

At last it reaches me, stripping me naked of the last of my leaves
Naked for the world to see, my bare bones open to the elements
High above the birds squawk as they are buffeted on their wings
My branches ache and groan as they are shaken helplessly around, every cold, icy blast, stings deep inside
I surrender and then sleep until spring

The sunlight awakens me... the fizzy feeling of new buds beginning to grow within my aged wood
My bare winter uniform, so dark, so cold, is replaced by green; the world is alive again

Birds begin to nest again, branches felled by the wind, become their new homes
Birds and insects find sanctuary within my frame
Families picnic under my shade
The wind, such a mortal enemy in winter, now brings a refreshing, cooling breeze
I breathe life in, and breathe life out



The Parting

Why does the earth still turn? On it's axis spinning around the sun, blissfully unaware of the turmoil it carries around
Why does the sun still shine? Filling every living thing with life, trying to cajole us into happiness
Why does the moon still appear every night at my window? Mocking me with fake concern
Why does my heart still beat? Working tirelessly against me, pretending nothing has happened... that it is not broken

I wish my heart would stop... I will it to
I wish my lungs would refuse the air they so greedily breathe
I don't want to awake after every nights tormented dreaming
My body has it's own agenda, and against me it is scheming
I wish to be out of here, stop the world, I want to get off!

I am unseen to the earth; just another passenger, as it travels through space
The sun doesn't notice my despair; it continues to bring life and warmth
The moon will continue to look down kindly on me
And my heart will continue to beat

For although we are not together, we are both on the earth
We are both passengers through space
Our journey is the same to the earth
Though separate for us

The same sun will continue to nurture us
We both feel the same warmth
We both eat food, given life from the sun
We both continue to feel happy in the sun's presence, no matter how hard I try not to

We both look upon the same moon, it watches over both of us
We still share our secrets with it
And the moon will keep those secrets safe
While providing us both with light, in the deepest, darkest nights

I let you go, and my heart will betray my pain
I will laugh, but you will not be forgotten
The wind you feel around will whisper my love to you
The dusts you see in sunlight are the kisses I send you

Desolate Winter

Desolate winter, come swallow me up
My life, now so fragile, like a broken paper cup
The stranger in the mirror has a face I don't recognise
A pale imitation of me, like a ghost in disguise

The ravages of time turn my once bright hair grey
Like the windswept, barren landscapes, where I once used to play
The fragments of my life lay scattered and blown
Like dead leaves in autumn, after a gale's havoc is sown

Who am I? Where am I? Where did I go?
My vibrance once strong, now nothing to show
Where does youth go? No one will know




(c) Sarah Green 2009