Lost Generation

Lately I have found myself changing: not sure if it's a good or a bad thing, but then all change does incorporate good and bad, I guess.

I've always been very caring, warm and empathetic. It had reached the point where I sublimated my own desires and needs for those around me. Whilst it is admirable to have compassion and humanity, it can become overwhelming, and ultimately leads to vulnerability of self; along with feelings of loss of identity, and purpose.

I have a good friend, who is the daughter of my parents. I have tried to help her, but, due to certain reasons, have found it impossible, at times. She also lives in Scotland so it is difficult to give her tangible support.

Maddie * has a lot of problems. She comes from a pleasant family, and every thing she has wanted has been supplied... except, I imagine, love, as she sees it. Maddie has one brother who seems to naturally have an easier life than her; He excelled academically and was more popular. In response to this, and to gain attention Maddie decided to rebel. She started to stay out late, took drugs, started drinking excessively, and 'sold ' herself for easy money.

The attention Maddie gained fuelled a pattern of behaviour in her, one which is still pervasive. Although she is now in her late 20s she continues to mourn the loss of security she felt when young.

Her behaviour has led to devastatingly destructive effects on her, both mentally and physically. The casual sex, and sharing of needles, has led to her contracting a serious sexual disease. She has a love/hate relationship with her body; craving warmth and affection, then shying away from it. She was married for a short time, and the break up made her problems worse.

Her life is a mess; a living car crash in motion. She is frequently taken advantage of by men; but despite the huge amount of support and care directed her way, Maddie refuses to accept it. She has played the role of victim for so long, she doesn't know what else to do. Every day seems to bring about a fresh drama, and it is wearing for those close to her.

Maddie has been encouraged by those closest to her to seek help, from mental health teams, and drug and alcohol counsellors, but as yet is below the radar of these organisations.

I have tried my hardest to be there for Maddie. It can be dangerous, as she is prone to sudden anger and violence, for which, as yet, she has evaded trouble. She can also be manipulative, and it is necessary to protect yourself from it; both trying to encourage others into illicit activities, to emotional blackmail if she doesn't get her own way.

I won't give up on Maddie; I feel it is so sad that in our society we have a lost generation of people like her; consigned to the scrapheap, forced to live each day out under a drunken, foggy stupor. The world passing them by, while for them, each day blends into the next, inebriated to numb the pain of a cold, uncaring world.

There are lots of people who are caring, and dedicate their lives to helping those like Maddie; some like Maddie refuse the help, preferring to walk a solitary, painful path. Others rejoice at the care others show... I just help that Maddie can realise this before it's too late.

* Name changed to protect identity