MY POETRY

I find poetry a good way of releasing one's inner turmoils/thoughts. I love writing, and have recently had some really positive news from a publisher. Whilst I can't share that, I thought I would include some of my own poetry here. Some rhymes, some doesn't... The first two, are the heaviest, please feel free to skip through & leave comments if you wish.
P.S I have neither grey hair, nor wrinkles, and certainly hope I don't have grandchildren (older and desolate winter) I was just imagining the future.

I Am

I feel pain just as much as you; I may not shout about it, I do not burden you with it, like you do with me, I swallow it down, smile and pretend it's not there,
But it is just as real; it makes me tremble and shiver under it's grip,
I feel the overwhelming grip of despair, as I succumb, falling under, almost choking on the strangle hold it has over me, unable to call out as the words die in my throat,
But although the pain is as crippling as yours, I do not inflict it on you, I do not use you as if an aspirin, hurting you to relieve my suffering
My pain may be less than hers, or more than his, but it is mine; I cannot feel your pain, nor you mine, it is ours to feel alone

I bruise just like you. I do not display the purple and yellow-blotched skin in the way of human peacocks, intoxicated with the adrenaline of fighting
I do not have the shiny, silvery streaks in my milky white skin that show where sharp metal, ferociously slashed both skin and sinew, flashing silver light followed by by deep red splashes as the cold, hard metal beat softer organic matter
My bruising is invisible to the eye; like an apple whose perfect exterior belies a soft, mushy flesh
My bruising begins just below the skins surface, slowly growing inwardly, rotting towards my heart
My flesh begins to turn mushy, the hardness melts away... the bruise overtakes all in its wake
But to the outside it is unseen: a flaw of the human eye that not all bruises are invisible

I am not a warrior, standing proud in the battlefield, sword held aloft, the bodies of my fallen enemies at my feet, the smell of victory in my nostrils
I am not a Gladiator riding a chariot; sweat pouring off me, adrenaline coursing through my veins, making me feel vibrant with life
I am an ant, invisible in the throng of life, one cog in the wheel, one life that is very ordinary
I am a bee, existing just because it does not know what else to do. Every breath, every heartbeat, just an autonomic function. Every thought, unbidden

I am not the wing beneath your wings; I do not lift you up, or pull you down
I am just me
I am

Goodbye

Away my feet softly go
The path I have travelled is now invisible
The tracks of time covering my footfalls
My existence lost to the world

The agony of leaving you bears heavy in my heart
The memory of our life imprinted on my brain
Every laugh, every tear, every touch, every kiss
Fills me with a longing, for a past forever lost

I hear you calling to me, but cannot reply
Your cries of despair, so mournful, must remain unanswered
I cannot wipe the tears from your eyes, for now they must remain obscured
Until time erases them, and plants a smile on your face

You must face the world alone now; I can no longer protect you
The path you choose, must be walked alone
The problems you face must be solved by you
I cannot help, nor cry, nor answer you

Forever I will be in your heart, though my physical entity has ceased
No longer does my heart beat
No more deep breaths of air, will my hungry lungs consume
I am but a memory, an imprint on the fabric of life
My stain is fading, but will never completely go

You my love are life
You must suck in air
Your heart must continue to beat
You must continue to dream, feel pain, be happy and sad
For you are life, and I am just a ghost

Older

Each line on my face, every wrinkle tells a story
I wear them with pride, my own badge of glory
Joy, pain, despair and sorrow
There is no shame in the path I chose to follow

Grey hair I cherish you, the bane of the others
You sprout from my body, clinging like old lovers
I won't cover you up, hide you from sight
You are a thing of such beauty, all silver and white

I am a wise old owl, not cluttered with 'stuff'
Unlike the young, I take the smooth with the rough
I know my own mind, I know where I'm going
And, never get distracted by wild oats that need sowing

Change places with a teenager...? No way!
I like 'real' music, not the noise that they play
Computers, Gameboys?? - I prefer a good book
If I want cyberspace, it's to the night sky I look

I am like a tree, all gnarled and knotted
But not invisible... my wisdom is spotted
And when the grand kids come to stay
I regale them with stories, of back in 'my day'

Tree

Wind; my most vicious and fatal enemy
My Achilles Heel, the thorn in my side, the itch I can't scratch, is approaching faster and faster

Coming from the arctic north, it takes no hostages as it devours all in its wake

I stand tall and firm, my roots solidly in the ground, awaiting its onslaught
The tree around me rustle as the tendrils approach; like an invisible black shroud
Fingers reaching our, gently caressing, before going for the kill

At last it reaches me, stripping me naked of the last of my leaves
Naked for the world to see, my bare bones open to the elements
High above the birds squawk as they are buffeted on their wings
My branches ache and groan as they are shaken helplessly around, every cold, icy blast, stings deep inside
I surrender and then sleep until spring

The sunlight awakens me... the fizzy feeling of new buds beginning to grow within my aged wood
My bare winter uniform, so dark, so cold, is replaced by green; the world is alive again

Birds begin to nest again, branches felled by the wind, become their new homes
Birds and insects find sanctuary within my frame
Families picnic under my shade
The wind, such a mortal enemy in winter, now brings a refreshing, cooling breeze
I breathe life in, and breathe life out



The Parting

Why does the earth still turn? On it's axis spinning around the sun, blissfully unaware of the turmoil it carries around
Why does the sun still shine? Filling every living thing with life, trying to cajole us into happiness
Why does the moon still appear every night at my window? Mocking me with fake concern
Why does my heart still beat? Working tirelessly against me, pretending nothing has happened... that it is not broken

I wish my heart would stop... I will it to
I wish my lungs would refuse the air they so greedily breathe
I don't want to awake after every nights tormented dreaming
My body has it's own agenda, and against me it is scheming
I wish to be out of here, stop the world, I want to get off!

I am unseen to the earth; just another passenger, as it travels through space
The sun doesn't notice my despair; it continues to bring life and warmth
The moon will continue to look down kindly on me
And my heart will continue to beat

For although we are not together, we are both on the earth
We are both passengers through space
Our journey is the same to the earth
Though separate for us

The same sun will continue to nurture us
We both feel the same warmth
We both eat food, given life from the sun
We both continue to feel happy in the sun's presence, no matter how hard I try not to

We both look upon the same moon, it watches over both of us
We still share our secrets with it
And the moon will keep those secrets safe
While providing us both with light, in the deepest, darkest nights

I let you go, and my heart will betray my pain
I will laugh, but you will not be forgotten
The wind you feel around will whisper my love to you
The dusts you see in sunlight are the kisses I send you

Desolate Winter

Desolate winter, come swallow me up
My life, now so fragile, like a broken paper cup
The stranger in the mirror has a face I don't recognise
A pale imitation of me, like a ghost in disguise

The ravages of time turn my once bright hair grey
Like the windswept, barren landscapes, where I once used to play
The fragments of my life lay scattered and blown
Like dead leaves in autumn, after a gale's havoc is sown

Who am I? Where am I? Where did I go?
My vibrance once strong, now nothing to show
Where does youth go? No one will know




(c) Sarah Green 2009

Foods that can harm, or kill your dogs

With Easter approaching, and with it the huge amount of chocolate and hot cross buns, simnel cake around, I want to share with you the human foods that can be harmful, or in the worse cases, fatal to dogs.

Most people are aware that chocolate is a no no for our canine friends; what is more alarming is that few people are aware of how many other, seemingly innocuous foods, that are also to be avoided.

So please read, and pass this on to friends or relatives you have, to help keep our faithful friends happy and healthy.

The most widely known toxic human food is chocolate, almost all dog lovers know this; not all chocolate products are equal in toxicity. Dark chocolate (and cocoa powder) with a high cocoa content is worse than milk chocolate. The ingredient in chocolate that causes the problem is theobromine, it can cause vomiting, diarrhoea, abnormal heart rhythm and in the worst case death. White chocolate doesn't have theobromine, but does have a high fat and sugar content so should be avoided.

Caffeine and coffee should also be avoided as it contains the same compound found in theobromine, and causes the same problems.

*Grapes and raisins; this is a fairly recent discovery. But it is almost more fatal than chocolate!!!!

An unknown compound exists in them which causes renal failure. I cannot stress enough the importance of keeping your pet away from these fruits!!!! A very few can be fatal, and by the time the symptoms of toxicity are visible it is often too late, and any treatment would be futile. If your dog eats any amount of grapes or raisins (even only a few) it is vital to get them to a vet within four hours (ideally far less). The treatment is induced vomiting, activated charcoal, an IV drip for a few days to flush out the kidneys. Sometimes even this fails. Please do not wait and see if your dog becomes unwell before seeking help; by the time they do the kidneys may have already been damaged beyond repair. I know a dog who ate just four; the owners got him to the vet quickly, and he was given the regime above; if vets take it this seriously you should. I've also heard of dogs who've not seen a vet till they displayed signs of illness: they all died. Some dogs are not affected, but do not risk it. Also never feed a dog cookies, cake or hot cross buns with raisins in.

Onions; whether raw, cooked or powdered - all forms of onions should be avoided. It has an effect on the red blood cells, causing them to burst, leading to haemolytic anaemia, in the worst cases dogs need blood transfusions to survive. Chives, shallots all have a similar effect, though with garlic a lot more would have to eaten before any bad effects would occur.

Macadamia nuts including macadamia butter, are toxic to dogs.

Avocados, cause vomiting, diarrhoea, and in some cases heart congestion.

Yeast dough (uncooked) causes gas. bloating and can rupture the intestines or stomach.

Raw eggs, they contain a compound which affects a dogs coat and skin.

Xylitol; causes liver failure, it is very toxic to dogs. It is found in a lot of human products such as sugar free sweets, chewing gum, toothpaste, yoghurt's etc.

Bones; frequently seen in vet surgeries, can cause blockages that need to be removed surgically. My sister's dog had to be seen as a medical emergency after giving her dog a raw hide bone (for dogs). Never let your dog have chicken bones.

Corn on the cob; the most common way for a dog's intestine to be blocked, often seen in vet surgeries, (do not confuse with sweetcorn, frozen or tinned)

Salmon, raw or cooked; can contain a parasite, not destroyed by cooking, which affects dogs but not humans. Trout is the same. It is also not recommended to feed dogs any other kinds of fish without cooking them first.

Baby food, due to the presence of onion powder.

Mushrooms, can cause toxicity.

Pits from peaches, apricots cherries etc, and apple pips, contain small amounts of cyanide.

Broccoli, should never account for than 10% of a dogs diet.

Finally nutmeg, and rhubarb leaves are poisonous. And never give your dog human pills or vitamins.

These are the most hazardous foods that your dog is likely to come into contact with.

I hope this helps you to keep your dog safe

Lost Generation

Lately I have found myself changing: not sure if it's a good or a bad thing, but then all change does incorporate good and bad, I guess.

I've always been very caring, warm and empathetic. It had reached the point where I sublimated my own desires and needs for those around me. Whilst it is admirable to have compassion and humanity, it can become overwhelming, and ultimately leads to vulnerability of self; along with feelings of loss of identity, and purpose.

I have a good friend, who is the daughter of my parents. I have tried to help her, but, due to certain reasons, have found it impossible, at times. She also lives in Scotland so it is difficult to give her tangible support.

Maddie * has a lot of problems. She comes from a pleasant family, and every thing she has wanted has been supplied... except, I imagine, love, as she sees it. Maddie has one brother who seems to naturally have an easier life than her; He excelled academically and was more popular. In response to this, and to gain attention Maddie decided to rebel. She started to stay out late, took drugs, started drinking excessively, and 'sold ' herself for easy money.

The attention Maddie gained fuelled a pattern of behaviour in her, one which is still pervasive. Although she is now in her late 20s she continues to mourn the loss of security she felt when young.

Her behaviour has led to devastatingly destructive effects on her, both mentally and physically. The casual sex, and sharing of needles, has led to her contracting a serious sexual disease. She has a love/hate relationship with her body; craving warmth and affection, then shying away from it. She was married for a short time, and the break up made her problems worse.

Her life is a mess; a living car crash in motion. She is frequently taken advantage of by men; but despite the huge amount of support and care directed her way, Maddie refuses to accept it. She has played the role of victim for so long, she doesn't know what else to do. Every day seems to bring about a fresh drama, and it is wearing for those close to her.

Maddie has been encouraged by those closest to her to seek help, from mental health teams, and drug and alcohol counsellors, but as yet is below the radar of these organisations.

I have tried my hardest to be there for Maddie. It can be dangerous, as she is prone to sudden anger and violence, for which, as yet, she has evaded trouble. She can also be manipulative, and it is necessary to protect yourself from it; both trying to encourage others into illicit activities, to emotional blackmail if she doesn't get her own way.

I won't give up on Maddie; I feel it is so sad that in our society we have a lost generation of people like her; consigned to the scrapheap, forced to live each day out under a drunken, foggy stupor. The world passing them by, while for them, each day blends into the next, inebriated to numb the pain of a cold, uncaring world.

There are lots of people who are caring, and dedicate their lives to helping those like Maddie; some like Maddie refuse the help, preferring to walk a solitary, painful path. Others rejoice at the care others show... I just help that Maddie can realise this before it's too late.

* Name changed to protect identity

How I came to be where I am now

I'm going to be posting new blogs expanding on the information included in my introduction, along with other topics, please be free to add any comments.

I'm one of those people who are easily distracted from my aims (possibly due to bipolar, maybe just my character).

My first career goal was to be a singer; I did dip my toes into it, and performed with a band, but found writing songs more enjoyable.

When choosing my A Levels I'd decided I wanted to be a criminal psychologist; however we had a psychometric test and my scores, though good enough for psychology, showed my best match would be journalism. I carried on with my A Levels, including psychology... but by then my goals had changed.

I studied Media & Performing Arts at Amersham College for a year, then did BA (hons) degree in Film, Media & Culture. It was here that I discovered a love of writing... particularly scripts. In the degree we learnt film editing, camera work etc. We produced our own (highly embarrassing) films. But there was no journalistic training.

After my degree I found it very hard to break into the industry, and due to financial pressure, had to get a regular office job... umm not ideal! I did keep my hand in the entertainment industry by having small parts in films, most consigned to the cutting room floor though :(

I've always been interested in nutrition; probably through having suffered from anorexia and bulimia when younger. This led me later to take a further qualification in nutrition. I developed a passion for the holistic side of nutrition; how it affects not just our physical well being, but also our mental condition: I will post a further blog on nutrition at a later date.

Once qualified I set up my own business, and have published articles on nutrition.

Right now I am returning to my love of writing... so many things have happened to me recently, and I have discovered that creativity is very important to me, I even recently discovered a talent for drawing, hitherto unknown.

It is disconcerting to not be sure where you are going, but now I am set on a course and finally have decided not to be 'distracted' by other's opinions.

Hi Everyone!

Hi,

I'm a creative writer and have written songs (which I have sung myself in a band), and have published articles on nutrition.

I am a qualified nutritionist, and read Tarot and am also an astrologer.

I live in the beautiful countryside of Bucks, in a small town near Aylesbury, which helps to inspire my writing.

I was recently diagnosed with bipolar (which explains the creativity) and now understand the wonderful highs and lows I have experienced for so long. Mind you I'm in quite good company with the likes of Stephen Fry et al.

I have also occasionally had a small part in films... so much waiting around for me though!